How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
North Korea, Best Korea!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
