direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
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