you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
