Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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