how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
