I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize