he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
