I want to walk on stilts...naked
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
