Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
