Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
