We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
