i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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