Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
