She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
