Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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