it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
