____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
