So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Randomize