I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize