Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
