he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
