Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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