**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
