Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
