Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
