i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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