remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Use "feeling words"
Yay
third nipple confirmed
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
