u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Your cock deserves a montage
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
