Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
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