Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize