Its about making memories worth repressing
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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