somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
