I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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