wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
