Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
