I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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