Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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