Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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