i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
