good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
