So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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