A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
