I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
