a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
