It's like God shit irony all over that family
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
