She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Randomize