also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
