It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
