but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
