So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
