I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
