I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
