we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
