Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
