girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
