Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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