Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
